Where is my mind?
Is it in darkness,
Or is it in light?
Where ever my mind is,
It is not in this world.
Some say I am crazy,
Some say I am not.
I say I am in darkness
But then I am not.
I listen to the voices in my head,
They tell me naughty things.
They say slit my wrists, cut my throat,
End this pointless life.
I sit in my sad lonely padded corner,
And think, why am I still here?
Why does life go on and leave me here?
I sit here alone,
Quiet in my room,
Full of fear,
And full of tears.
Afraid of my own fears,
Afraid of my own tears,
That’s why I sit here all alone,
Silently on my own.
They look at me through the little hole in my door,
They just stop and stare at me like an animal in the zoo.
Who do they think they are to treat me like this?
I am no animal, I am me.
This room will not take my mind,
I will pray, I will fight,
If not, I shall lose myself,
In this white, white room of hell.
Pray for me,
Care for me,
But don’t patronize me!
Who are you to say...
Who are you to say who I am?
You are not my mother,
You are not my father,
So who are you to say who I am?
I am me,
And you are you,
So what if I were to say,
You are me and I am you.
You cannot judge me by grades alone.
That is how you should judge!
Grades alone doesn't make a person,
But what they show you as themselves,
Use that as a guideline to each life you meet.
So who are you to say who I am?
What I'm like,
Or what I am,
So don't judge me day by day
German, French, Russian, Dutch,
And many more as of such.
We all speak different languages,
But never understand,
The beauty of each and every language.
We speak day by day.
So listen up!!
And listen well!!
And learn your bloody languages!!
I had this dream,
But it was more than what it seemed,
I slipped away in time and space,
Where everything was ace.
closed my my eyes and dreamed of home,
My home that was across the sea of dreams,
How can I get to you my love?
How will I reach you, to grasp you, to hug you?
Will I ever see home again?
And smell the rich fertile lands, that I call mine,
Will I ever see my love again?
I want to hold him and never leave him.
Will this dream like world ever end?
Will it keep going and never end?
I cannot see you in this dream,
I cannot feel you.
So as I travel to you,
My mind becomes a love sick mess,
Were you ever real?
Or is this reality?
My Heaven Gone
If I were a bird, I would fly away into the arms of heaven that lies across the sea.
I would look into heaven's eyes and lose myself in his gaze.
"Do you love me?" I would say and he would answer, "More than you'll ever know" in a soft and calming tone.
As days, weeks, months and years pass by, I would lose my heart and soul to him.
Then one day my heaven leaves and I am alone, in the darkness of a dismal world of loneliness and pain.
But as my hope fades he returns and I do not recognize him.
So I look at him and then turned away and left him in the world he left me in, full of darkness, loneliness and pain.
I once was lost in the stupidity of my own doing,
Then I walked into the light and found you waiting,
We smiled and talk for a night and a day,
Not really noticing that we were slowly falling in love.
Now I stand at your side,
Praying each day that you will stay near,
And love me for eternity,
And as time passes by we grow old together.
We watched sunsets and sunrises,
And grew closer and closer,
Until our hearts and souls became one in the night,
And the cries of love could be heard.
In the morning I would sing to you,
And you would curl up next to me,
As the sun beat down on your golden face,
And my smile would shine like a star.
As the years pass us by and we grow old,
We will look back and smile,
For our love is eternal,
And ever lasting throughout time.
So as God hails us in his holy kingdom,
We shall smile,
For our love is true,
And will never die.
Love will be my downfall...
He always said love will be my downfall,
I never believed him,
He always said hate will be my destiny,
I never believed him.
Now I see that he spoke some truth,
Love will always be my downfall,
But Hate is not where my destiny lies,
He is wrong.
I do not see clearly,
My eyes are tear filled,
I do not see blindly,
My faith guides me.
I see him there in my mind,
I stand there looking at him,
He will forgive me.
Yes he speaks,
But it is the dark one,
The one who created me.
My heart shatters,
Like a fist through a mirror,
He shakes his head,
I thought you were stronger he said.
I drop to my knees at his feet,
Begging like a pauper,
Praying he will forgive me,
And say that I am his for eternity.
My devotion is unending,
As is my love for one,
My deepests fears I overcome,
For my devotion is strong.
I devoted time into helping you,
Denied my health just to speak with you,
Destroyed friendships just to see you,
For my devotion is unending.
You broke my heart,
Yet I am still here,
Struggling to hold back the tears,
As I see you here with another.
I hope one day to find another,
Who will love me like you did,
And will remain beside me,
For their devotion is never ending.
Freed from Darkness
I walked a dark path when with him,
And thought he was the light,
He was not the light he was the darkness,
The darkness that my heart thrived for.
We shared many thoughts and dreams,
Passion and a caressing love,
But in time he wondered another path,
And found another love just as dark as him.
She said she loved him,
Caressed him gently in her dark loving gaze,
He fell head over heels for her,
Then left me.
They say they loved each other,
But in truth his new lover feared him,
She saw that his darkness was deep,
And she was not as dark as him.
For a brief time I was free of darkness,
But then it returned in a full blown war,
His new love deserted him,
She did not want him to get hurt in her world.
He came to me full of anger at what she said,
He wanted to help her defeat her fears,
He cared for her with his dark heart,
Yet he still returned to me full of anger and pity.
As the days went by rumours began to spread,
His anger fuelled by these rumours,
And his temper made him bleed,
He blamed me for all these things.
He now calls me his enemy,
For trying to help her and him,
He blames me for his misery,
When his misery he caused on his own.
We are now no longer friends,
For now we are enemies,
I say my sorrys and farewells to the world of darkness,
For now I am free from his corrupt world.
Free of pain and suffering,
Free of fear and darkness,
Free of nothingness,
For I have found the light.
The White Knight
In the shadows of a dream her white knight shines,
He banishes the dark realms from her mind,
Purifies her soul and makes her loving heart his,
And loves her forever more in the realm of light.
She stepped out into the sunlight from the dark,
Away from pain and destruction of an unstable mind,
She unburdened her troubles unto his shoulders,
Gave thanks and praise to a worthy white knight.
He adorned her with wisdom and guidance when needed,
Show her the way when she was lost in the shadows,
Gave her a light and a hope to look for,
Kept her alive when she wanted to die.
In the past they shared a great many things,
From secrets of their pasts to dreams of the future,
They confide in one another,
And keep a loving hope that all around notice.
You fought to keep her safe,
Showed her a path of love which she has never seen,
Then she denied you and fell into shadow once more,
Now she is lost in the dark realm trying to find a way out.
Praise be to you noble knight of the old ways,
You have captured the heart and the soul of one fair maid,
Who in shadow lies a watching and hoping,
That you'll one day rescue her fully.
Torn in Two
Cut in half on a table,
It lays there beating no more,
A lifeless muscle spilt in two,
As one love is lost,
And another is found.
Everytime the heart feels a loved ones presence,
The butcher carves another slice into it,
Everytime the heart feels pain,
The butcher cuts another peice off it,
It bleeds and bleeds but no one cares.
To the butcher the heart is just an organ,
It is not a thing of beauty, passion and love,
It is just meat and muscle,
Lub dub, lub dub, lub dub,
Is that all it is for? The beat?
It feels love for one,
But it belongs to another,
It has been cut in two,
But it longs to be whole,
Is love this fickle?
It always hides from the one it loves,
It always hides from the truth,
The butcher makes his cuts from this,
As he always knows the truth,
For he is always in the mind.
I am sorry...
I am sorry for the pain I cause,
Even though I do not know what it was,
I am sorry for the love I have spent on you,
When you have not been there to share it,
I am sorry for caring,
When you really don't want it,
I am sorry for being there for you,
But I am just a caring person,
I am sorry for giving you my heart,
For you have torn it apart,
I am sorry for being so far away,
But we do live in two different nations,
I am sorry for being below your standards,
But this is who I am,
I am sorry for not being there for you,
But this is life for you,
I am sorry for not trusting you,
But past actions still need to be redeemed,
I am sorry for the lies,
But you lie too,
I am sorry for telling you everything about me,
Then again I am not,
I am sorry for ever hurting you,
Even though it was not intentional,
I am sorry for ever loving you,
For you never really loved me,
I am sorry for failing you in anyway,
But it just shows that I am a failure in real life,
I am sorry for entering your world,
I just should never have been there in the first place,
I am sorry for letting you into my world,
For now you have destroyed it.
I am sorry for everything we ever had together,
For now it all seems to be one big lie!