College is supposed to be a time to experience new things and meet new people and have fun...right? Then why does everything always come crashing down around me???

Two weeks ago, I fell asleep at my best friend's house and my best friend and another good friend of mine sexually assaulted me...and took pictures of it. And this was after one of the hardest and most stressful weeks of my life. Now everytime I look in the mirror all I see are those disgusting pictures and I get nauseous and end up vomiting. And everytime I try to sleep, I wake up from nightmares about it. I just don't understand people...

And then a few days ago I found out that my friend from back home had committed suicide the night before...and apparently I was the last person she called and I silenced her call because I was too busy working on my Thermodynamics homework to bother...and I think her mom blames me for her death...

I feel like I'm just going through the motions at this point. Everything is so...bland. I'm so fucking numb...every emotion is just gone...and it's like I can't do anything about it.

My roommate turns into 100x the bitch she already is when it's that time of the month. Well, I've just about had it with her screaming fits and snide remarks...I think I'll rip out her ovaries and sell them on Ebay. Yes, that sounds nice. I also believe she's one of the most inconsiderate people I have ever met. I've lived with her over a year now and she's never been this bad before. I guess I'm just getting to see the very worst sides of her now. She's an only child...but she's never acted like it...well, she is now. I'm sick and tired of picking up after her. I'm not her mother...

Ugh. I can't wait to get out of the dorms and into my friend Jenny's apartment...